allabitofablur:

0-memento-mori-0:

glassbottledemon:

smartinis:

i remember until i was ten, i spelt ‘satin’ like ‘satan’ and i went to a christian school and they called my parents because i wrote ‘satan is soft like a bunny’ and they wanted the priest to talk to me

Satan is glad you appreciate the effort.

Satan uses Garnier Fructis to lock in moisture.

I JUST LOST MY SHIT

image

(via jasmine3loveskitties)

therainbowgorilla:

unreluctantone:

americachavez:

pls give me a franchise where, when a good female character turns evil, she is not immediately dressed in a bondage-inspired outfit that is 2 strips of leather and a thong and instead dresses in sensible jeans and combat boots and a comfy jacket because hello, evil agenda here, there’s no time to be objectified, world domination is priority

"Come to the Dark Side, we have pockets and sensible footwear."

Pockets you say?

IM IN

(via till-the-end-of-the-bucky)

jaclcfrost:

[finds the most sarcastic asshole in the series] my love

(via pizza)

sherlockedcumberbabe:

kaehzar:

every time my parents tell me something that I should’ve done that is not helpful to the conversation I’m going to reply with some historical event that shouldn’t have happened like

"You should’ve gotten up earlier"

"Hitler shouldn’t invaded Czechoslovakia"

"You should’ve gotten higher grades then"

"Abraham Lincoln should’ve hired a better bodyguard then"

I witnessed this live, I feel special

(via pizza)

t0tally-pers0nal:

Let’s “cuddle” and when I say cuddle I mean aggressively makeout and grab me everywhere

(via pizza)

sexualremarks:

WHY DO PARENTS ALWAYS RUIN YOUR DAY AND THEN ACT LIKE THEY DIDNT RUIN YOUR DAY AND WONDER WHY YOURE IN A BAD MOOD

(via shadowey)

zenis:

wet dream: being financially secure with a career i enjoy

(via pizza)